I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize