I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
