doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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