Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
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