dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
