So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
