Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
