so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
