We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
