We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
