im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
not ubering you a puppy
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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