He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
