pedialite and red bull = repair kit
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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