i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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