I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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