The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
