u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
