Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
