Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Acid is not a monday night drug
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
