I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
