All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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