At least make sure they are 18
Why
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize