You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
