she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I would fuck him just for his dog
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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