shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize