i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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