I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
