How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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