the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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