You're my little dorito
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
