According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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