He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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