His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
