I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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