I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
