Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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