i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
