i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
