Me too!
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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