i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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