dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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