its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
