The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
When did angry sex become our thing?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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