Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Acid is not a monday night drug
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
