You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
