found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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