Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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