I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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