Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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