she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
