remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
