I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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