Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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