you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
