Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
