omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
