CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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