I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
