this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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