Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
