My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize