Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
