You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
