What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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