these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize