Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
and i looked up. we had an audience...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
