I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
