Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
